My FeeLinGs #1

Recently i had been feeling rather depressed.
I was having my orientation for the past 3 days.
Well, i had fun, and was rather high.
But i was not as happy as i appear to be..
Reason being i feel that i couldn't make many friends,
i felt alone.
While others had their friends to walk and talk with,
i was alone.

Surprisingly,
my leader sms-ed me,
asking me to prepare something for the discussion meeting.
As usual,
she encouraged me to defeat my fear of speaking in front of
many ppl..
That was during my orientation.
Of course i would take up the role,
although i will feel stressed and nervous.
But i really want to play a part in the district.
At that time,
i was feeling rather depressed.
My leader then sent me long messages of encouragements,
telling me that i should not give up,
i should overcome it.
She told me that no matter what i face,
i should always go back to daimoku.

I haven't been chanting and doing my gongyo
during the orientation days
as i was DEAD TIRED.
When the orientation ended,
i went back to daimoku and gongyo.
And read the previous encouragements from
the Daily Guidance,
which i read everytime i do my gongyo,
i always feel charged when i do that.
I was surprised.
"Human relationship problems are opportunities
for you to grow and mature.
Such problems can be character building
if you don't let them defeat you."
No words can describe how i felt.
I was deeply touched.
Just two sentences.

I shouldn't envy those who
are naturally outspoken.
I should be glad,
that we are facing these problems.
Because i can gain something which
they cant.
One day when i succeed,
i will gain the sense of satisfaction
and achievement.
At that time,
i will be stronger than them,
i can proudly say that i won
over my own weaknesses.

I am fortunate,
to have great leaders,
who always bombard me with encouragements.
I am fortunate,
to have such a good sensei,
who wrote lots of encouragements,
for our happiness.
I am fortunate,
to have Faith and Gohozon.

I may not have received great benefits
like becoming rich or something.
But its the heart that matters.
This is where absolute happiness is.

Guidance #2
From: Daily Guidance
A stone wall that seems infinitely high
when seen from the ground,
appears no more than a slightly raised
boundary line when viewed from an airplane.
Similarly,
if your life-condition changes for the better,
so will the way you view and respond to things.
You'll find yourself surmounting every adversity
and hardship with composure,
and thoroughly enjoying the drama of life.
-Ikeda Sensei